


Strawberry Burglars

by Sky_King



Category: Bleach
Genre: A lot of dick jokes, Aizen Sousuke Being Aizen Sousuke, Aizen is a Friederich Nietzsche enthusiast, Also Aizen loses his shit, And fade to black sex scene, BAMF Kurosaki Ichigo, Because Gin and Ichigo are idiots, Cat Burglars, Cat burglar Ichigo, Cat burglars in the night, Coffeeshop owners at day, Comedy, F/M, Fade to Black Scene at the end, Hacker Ichigo, Heist, Ichimaru Gin is a dick, Kinda, M/M, Matsumoto Rangiku is a great flirt, Modern AU, Multi, Rated M for sexual tension, Rukia is also part of this as the driver, These dorks flirt on the job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 04:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21155843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sky_King/pseuds/Sky_King
Summary: Mature rating.Ichigo, Gin and Rangiku, long time lovers and part time burglars plan a heist to steal Aizen's plans for his newest clean energy project for public distribution. Rangiku flirts, Gin gets jealous, a lot of dick jokes are made, and Ichigo ends up having to run down fifteen flights of stairs.So yeah, the usual.





	Strawberry Burglars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatFiend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFiend/gifts).

> For Fiend for being an amazing friend and helping me out in a time of need!
> 
> I know you already read it, but hope you like it!
> 
> This is my attempt at a heist, being horribly derailed by dick jokes.
> 
> Enjoy?

“Is everyone in position?” Ichigo spoke into his Bluetooth earpiece, discreet and nonchalant in the way he leaned against the counter; with a homemade muffin in his hands. He was currently in Hueco Mundo enterprises’ main building, hiding away in the communal kitchenette– way down in the fifth floor in full-janitor outfit– waiting for instructions.

“Whaaat? You’re already in?! I’m barely getting there!” Rangiku exclaimed rather loudly into his earpiece. Her scandalized tone made a smile pull at this lips, which he hid with another bite to his blueberry muffin.

There was not a soul nearby that could see or listen to his conversation, but he’d rather not risk it. After all, he had sneaked his way through the service door, stole a faded-green janitor uniform and posed as one all the way through the fifth floor. His normally outrageous orange hair had also been dyed a soothing brown for the occasion, with the added benefit of pissing his boyfriend off.

“That’s because ya’ take forever in front of a mirror, Ran-chan.” The aforementioned boyfriend said, probably pinching the bridge of his nose in mock-exasperation. By the relaxed quality of his voice, he was probably alone in Hueco Mundo’s security headquarters. Which he had been working at, as head of security for almost a month. Everything just an elaborate plan to pull off this heist, of course.

(Even though he never would have dreamed of becoming a cat burglar alongside his lovers, Ichigo had to say he was proud of their top-notch quality.)

Rangiku only laughed cheerily– she clearly wasn’t in position yet.

“Oh, please! I like to be fashionably late. You’re both too much of a bore to understand the delicate-”

“Yes, yes, you’re better than us, Rangiku. We get it.” Ichigo cut her off, hearing Gin snicker, while their girlfriend huffed into her own earpiece, miffed. He bit again into the muffin. “Oh, and your muffins are honestly the best thing that has ever existed, by the way.”

“Oh, Ichi-kun,” Rangiku laughed again, the sound softer than before. Probably about to enter the building, then. “You dork, I’m glad you liked them.”

“Hey, why didn’t I get one too?” Gin whined into their ears, petty and childish like when they had to wake up earlier than usual to work. It was honestly unfair how endearing Ichigo found it to be, considering he was like five years older than himself.

But Rangiku had no time for this. “I offered you both. Not my fault you were so petulant. Okay, going in, wish me luck, babes!”

“You’ll do great, Ran.” Ichigo whispered into his muffin, voice soft and warm. After that, he fixed his scowl, the cap on his head and headed out.

* * *

By now, Ichigo was used to being the manpower behind their cat burglar team, but he felt perfectly justified in complaining to his partners after the seventh flight of stairs. Even though he was perfectly aware that he couldn’t risk taking the elevator.

They had cameras after all, and while Gin could disable the security system, they all had agreed that disabling the cameras from three different closed circuits would be incredibly suspicious. So this meant that Ichigo would have to improvise.

The service staircase was also under surveillance, but Ichigo’s presence was justified in that instance. At least while he kept his uniform on. He would be using the stairs to get close to the fifteenth floor, then take to the air vents to enter Aizen Sousuke’s private office.

Or more like offices, he basically had the entire floor to himself. It even had its own private security system, _that_ was the one Gin would inactivate. And hopefully would also remember to turn off the motion-activated alarms.

* * *

Once he had reached the relative safety of Aizen’s floor, Ichigo confirmed that the camera of this service area was indeed broken (something that Gin had conveniently forgotten to report) before proceeding. Then, Ichigo fumbled with the slender hiking backpack he had strapped to his back under the janitor uniform; then he retrieved his heist mask, a pair of black gloves and a tiny 10 Terabyte flash drive. The latter went inside the white _nekomata_ mask, then he put on the gloves and momentarily placed the other two items on the ground so he would be able to use his hands.

“You know,” Ichigo said, as he finished unscrewing the last of the bolts of the air vent that kept it sealed shut. He picked off the grid, using his feet to hold on to it as he dead-lifted himself through the small crevice. It was barely big enough for him to crawl on his stomach and wiggle through. He struggled a little, but he managed to replace the air vent with his feet and a lot of core strength. “When I told you I was joining the parkour club back in college, it wasn’t an invitation to add me to your little cat burglar team.”

“But ain’t it just a beautiful coincidence?” Gin said, a smirk in his voice. “It was the perfect outcome for our relationship.”

“Excuse me?” Ichigo said, feigning offense, as he stopped crawling on his stomach to argue. “Are you saying that you asked me to be your boyfriend _because _I was good at climbing vertical spaces and crawling through vents?”

“I mean, tha’s a pretty good plus. Gives ya’ a great ass.”

“Oh my god, how are we together?” Ichigo mumbled as he reassumed crawling. “You better make sure to cut the power before I get there. If not I’m taking Rangiku and leaving you alone.”

“Love ya’ too.”

“Are you two done yet?” Rangiku whispered, clearly not up for dealing with their antics. When they quietened down, she continued. “Ichigo, you have the blueprints memorized, right? The party is about to begin, but I haven’t seen Aizen yet. I’ll give you the go ahead as soon as I find him. Shouldn’t take long. This party is for himself and god knows he’d hate to miss even a second of this boot-licking event.”

“Gonna seduce him?” Ichigo asked wryly, as he reassumed crawling. Both he and Rangiku ignored their third’s indignant huff at his words.

“I think I would need a mirror for that, but I’ll give it a shot.”

“What dress ya’ wearing?” Gin asked, sly and amused. And maybe a little jealous as always.

“The red cocktail one, uhh… with the open back?” Rangiku hummed as she considered how to describe it. “The one you’re always telling me not to wear outside without a jacket.”

“Ah, I love how that one looks on you.” Ichigo mumbled dreamily, somehow managing to feel hot and bothered in the cold, cramped space above Aizen’s offices. “Anyway, I’m here. I’m on standby.”

“Security’s disabled. Give me a moment, to make sure the motion sensors won’t turn on anyway.”

“Sure, I have time.” Ichigo said blithely. “Anyway, Rangiku, you gonna break many hearts.”

“And dicks.”

“Completely unnecessary, Gin.”

“Not in my opinion.”

“I wonder how we haven’t been caught yet with your peanut gallery blabbering all the time.” Rangiku sighed all-suffering. Before either of them could make a snappy comment or apologize, she drew in a sharp breath. “I have eyes on Aizen.”

“He alone?”

“The cute, green-eyed body guard is with him. The porcelain skin one. The hot tall lady that’s always beside them isn’t here.” There was some shuffling and static as she messed around with her earpiece. “I’ll be engaging, be careful.”

“Always, beautiful.” Ichigo said with a grin, as he focused on finding a good place to drop. “You too, if he tries anything funny I’ll break his nose.”

“And dick.”

“Yes, thank you Gin. Very helpful.” Ichigo grumbled. “I’m under what I hope is the bathroom, can I go down now?”

“I have eyes on Tia. Yer gonna want ta’ wait a couple more minutes.” Gin replied, voice losing any resemblance of warmth as he focused again. “Motion sensors deactivated. Make sure you have the flash drive ready, there’s a fail-safe mechanism that will trigger a second alarm if the power doesn’t return in… ten minutes.”

“That’s a lot of time.”

“Apparently that’s how long maintenance normally takes, for his office.”

Ichigo arched his eyebrows. “He doesn’t trust anyone even with himself inside the office?”

“Ya’ know the guy.”

“Point.”

While they waited, they tuned in on Rangiku’s conversation, as she chatted with some stranger or another before finally approaching Aizen.

“Aizen Sousuke in the flesh!” She exclaimed, happy and flirty. Ichigo could _hear_ Gin grinding his teeth together. “I’m a fan, but you already know that, don’t you? I’m so fortunate my journalist friend made me her plus one. Your inventions are so… creative, you really come up with all these ideas by yourself?”

“Well,” the pleased, condescending voice of Aizen floated over to them, distorted by distance and static. “While I cannot deny the claims that I am a genius, I do have a team in charge of Research and Development as is usual for a company of this size, my dear….?”

“Oh, yes. My name is Matsuka Rana, a pleasure.”

“May I call you Rana-san?”

“Of course! Oh, does that mean I can call you Sousuke-kun?”

“It would be an honor to be called that by such a beautiful woman as yourself.”

(“I wanna rip his pretty boy face off right this instant, how dare he hit on mah girl!?” “I’m honestly so surprised you didn’t mention his dick this time.”)

“So, Sousuke-kun. I know how you began your— well, I would say empire is a suitable word for what you have done. How you were competing with a former colleague of yours, but your superior intellect soon ended that rivalry as you rose through the ranks with your amazing inventions, and clean energy ideas.” Rangiku laid down the praise thick enough that even Ichigo was beginning to feel the stirrings of jealousy inside of him. But he was a sensible adult and would not stoop down to Gin’s level.

“But I was just wondering,” Rangiku continued. “If you ever want to branch out into a different area? I know that being eco-friendly is a boom right now and it is a complicated endeavor, but surely someone with your intellect must get bored of never straying from your set path.”

“You flatter me, Rana-san. I see you have done your homework on me.” He laughed, as if he had made a great joke. Ichigo just gagged. “I agree, if I want to keep myself entertained I must keep innovating, creating. And it may be uncouth of me to say this, but there are enough problems in the world to keep me busy.”

“Creating,” Rangiku began, meeting Aizen’s eyes as she quoted. “Is the great salvation from suffering, and life's alleviation. But for the creator to appear, suffering itself is needed, and much transformation.”

“Thus spoke Zarathustra.” Aizen said, impressed and pleased like a well-groomed cat. Or a horny cat. “My, my, Rana-san, I wouldn’t have pegged you to be a fan of the great Nietzsche. If I may, you have a great taste.”

“Yes, that man was really too advanced for his time. I think his theory of the _übermensch _is very insightful, and maybe even reflects you, now that I think about it.” Rangiku continued to say, all honey-sweet smiles and sugar-coated words. “If I recall correctly Nietzsche wanted humanity to surpass itself, become the best version possible. Much like yourself, if I’m allowed the indiscretion.”

Aizen laughed again. “I’m honored that you see me in such a way. Yes, I strive to surpass the concept of man, even if, in the end, it is not possible.”

“A journey with no physical destination, I see you are ambitious.” Rangiku continued to say, Aizen already wrapped around her finger.

(Ichigo thought that Rangiku was a great actress, not only because of how she could fool Aizen, but how she could keep her cool while Gin delivered insult after insult to the pompous bastard. One would think that Gin would have learned to tone it down by the third heist, but so far no such luck.)

“She doesn’t even _like _Nietzsche! I remember I had ta’ pay for the damned book, because she kep’ throwing it agains’ the walls.” Gin continued to gripe, thankfully switching to another channel with just Ichigo so Rangiku wouldn’t be distracted with his childish whining.

“I mean, the idiot was a misogynist, anti-Semitic, and probably an apologist of the worst kind. I wouldn’t be surprised.” Ichigo replied in an even tone. “But Aizen kept quoting the bastard and you know our girl— she will milk every single chance she gets. Even if she has to put up with actually reading some of the books we sell.”

“Ichigo,” Gin interrupted him, voice sharp. “Coast is clear. Disabling the sensors in three… two… one… _go_!”

Ichigo cursed under his breath, as he secured the flash drive to his belt and the mask to his face, and pried open the bathroom vent. It was barely big enough for his chest to go through and he wasted precious seconds maneuvering to enter the bathroom as discreetly as possible.

He landed in a crouch and waited a heartbeat for any sort of trap or hidden mechanism to be triggered. When nothing seemed to happen, Ichigo hurried out of the bathroom, whispering, “all clear.”

He scanned his surroundings, there were several cubicles with glass walls— eerily reminding him of that one time he had gone to the local aquarium. He was just wondering which one would be Aizen’s main office when he noticed that one in particular had a red carpet floor that led to a huge mahogany desk. Behind which hung a portrait of none other than narcissist, self-important Aizen Sousuke.

“I think I just puked a little inside my mouth.” Ichigo muttered, torn between feeling dismayed and laughing out loud. “He has a portrait of himself in his office.”

“Yah, well it don’t stop there. The lock ta’ his door should be his birthday in reverse.”

Ichigo reached the padlock as Gin was saying that, and stared blankly at the door’s padlock. “Yes, well are you going to tell me what it is? I’m not his fanboy I wouldn’t know.”

“2-8-9-1-9-2-5-0.” Gin enunciated every digit with care, and Ichigo was quick to enter the glorified code with his gloved hands. The door unlocked with a beep.

“Oh thank fuck.” Gin whispered to himself. Ichigo pouted, even as he hurried to boot up the monster of a computer that Aizen owned.

“You weren’t sure it was the right passcode?” He said, annoyed and exasperated.

“T’was a risk I was willing ta’ take.” Gin replied solemnly, laughter leaking out of his every word.

“At my expense!” Ichigo huffed, as his eyes scanned the equally humongous desk. “You said Dumbass McGee wrote the login code down?”

“Calm down, Ichi-chan. I knew ya’ would pull through.” Gin said, as soothing as he was mocking. “Yeah, he bragged about it, because nobody would be able to break inta his office anyway. Find it yet, mah little guinea pig?”

“Fuck you too.”

“With a dildo or with yer dick? Ya know I’m not picky.”

“Can you stop bringing up dicks every five seconds, oh my god.” Ichigo stopped paying attention to his annoying boyfriend as he focused on searching for the password. Much to his bemusement, and rather anticlimactically, he discovered that stuck behind the monitor, there was a yellow post-it with a rather long series of random letters and numbers. He felt tempted to draw something childish on it, maybe a dick in Gin’s honor, but they were supposed to be as inconspicuous as possible. A pity, really. The opportunity was just _there_.

Ichigo took another look at his watch, hoping he would have enough time, as he hurried to look up the appropriate files and began downloading them to his flash drive. He didn’t delete them, they just needed to bring the right information to the right people so no matter how Aizen tried marketing his new clean energy design, he would lose.

There would be people still willing to pay the exorbitant prices he would be asking for, brands worked weird like that. But at least like this the less wealthy –aka about 90% of the population– wouldn’t have to continue using outdated technologies that would harm the environment when there were better and cheaper alternatives.

Honestly, Ichigo felt a little guilty accepting money for this job. He would have done it just for the reasons above, if it was up to him. But Gin was the one responsible for accepting and rejecting the odd job they got. And he thought that risking their necks and reputations needed to be compensated accordingly.

If Ichigo remembered correctly, he had said something along the lines of, “We aren’t some selfless idiots that claim to be heroes. We’re burglars, now pay up.”

Which was rich coming from the guy who had risked his own life to save Ichigo from himself. And who had taken on a castaway girl with nowhere to go, despite him being fresh out of high school and with no way of obtaining (legal) money.

Rangiku and Ichigo both had paid him back with love, acceptance and a future together, but still it had been a gambit Gin had taken out of the goodness of his heart.

Although surely he would rather sooner die than confess to any of these things.

Ichigo returned his attention to the screen, mentally begging the files to go faster, then to his watch once more. He had roughly three minutes left. The air vent was ready for him to climb back up though, so his escape would be swift, even if he triggered the alarms. At least there would be no fingerprints and no footage of even his mask.

“Nobody’s coming?” Ichigo asked, feeling his heart thumping in his ears, as the slow progress bar mocked his urgency.

“Nothing’s on the monitors.” Gin replied rather conservatively. Great for his nerves, Ichigo grumbled. “Are ya’ not done yet? Yer running outta’ time.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Ichigo whispered back, and just then– just as the progress bar filled up, and a confirmation pop-up appeared on the screen– somebody appeared by the doorway. Ichigo couldn’t see who it was, his vision distorted by the many glass walls separating them, but to his abysmal luck, whoever was on the other side proceeded to walk in, gait fast and wary. He retrieved the valuable flash drive and forced-shut down Aizen’s computer. “Shit, someone’s here, Gin.”

He could hear his boyfriend cursing up a storm, even as he shouted, “triggering all alarms now, _run!”_

Just before the man on the other side could open the door to Aizen’s office, with a weak, “Aizen-sama….?” Floating in the air, just a second before Ichigo kicked the tempered glass wall besides the door.

It shattered with a thunderous crash, as long, big shards of glass breaking again in smaller pieces as they hit the ground. And even that was drowned out as all possible alarms began blaring loudly.

Ichigo was meant to by-pass the stunned stranger and get out, but he was keenly aware of the single open air vent he had left on the bathroom.

Even if his entrance had been noticed, how he got in shouldn’t be figured out. It could harm future endeavors.

So he turned back towards the frozen stranger — dark-skinned, in a black suit and wearing sunglasses indoors, weird— and with a practiced motion, he put his entire weight into an open-palmed slap to the side of his neck.

The effect was instantaneous. The sunglasses man jerked a little, his body slow to react to the threat, before his head lolled and he collapsed to the floor in a heap of limbs.

Before he even hit the ground, Ichigo was already running towards the bathroom, even as Gin screamed obscenities into his earpiece that he should get the _fuck out_.

Ichigo was sweating profusely inside his facemask, but he didn’t dare move it just in case the cameras went online again or someone else found him.

As he was finishing bolting the air vent close again, he could hear Gin arguing with someone else about why the security cameras were off on the fifteenth floor. Knowing that this meant that they would be going back on at any moment to avoid further suspicion, Ichigo quickened his pace.

He dashed down the service stairs, legs burning, and tripping over himself on his way out. He was slowed down as he had to hide in every small crevice, and broom closet he could find to avoid being found out by the veritable army of black-clad security guards thundering their way through every floor.

Ichigo briefly considered joining them, since he was wearing black under his janitor uniform. However, there was no chance he could pass it off as a security uniform. He did end up discarding his costume inside one of the closest he came across. Hopefully this would not link any of the real staff to the burglar, a misplaced uniform wasn’t exactly news worthy.

Dressed only in his form-fitting black yoga pants and black turtleneck, Ichigo continued trying to reach the level floor.

“Renji’s in ta’ make a scene. I will personally fuck ya’ up if ya’ don’t get out, Ichigo.” Gin snarled into his earpiece, worry making his words that much angrier. He sounded winded as well, and Ichigo assumed he had been deployed to find him. That or Gin had given up his cover of subtlety and was trying to find him to get him out. Or murder him. Both were plausible possibilities at this point.

Ichigo didn’t have enough air in his lungs to reply, so he just kept on running down the unending flights of stairs.

“Ichi-chan, which floor are you on?” Gin asked out of the blue, something pensive in the hum of his words. “Think you can meet me at the first floor?”

Ichigo wheezed out a non-verbal complaint even as he stopped on his tracks to try and figure out where he was. Finding no indications, he waddled to the window that gave a panoramic view of the outside world. He squinted against what little he could see, the light of the stairs almost stealing his night vision entirely. The nearby buildings didn’t look like toy models, however, so Ichigo decided he might as well take his chances and enter the main building.

* * *

As it turned out, he had been on the second floor, but Gin had still somehow found him, and led him gently to the main elevators after hiding away his mask, and giving him a polo shirt to change out of his sweat-drenched turtleneck. As they boarded the lonely elevator, Gin gave him a critical onceover and pouted.

“I wanted a nice cover story about being too busy making out with my boyfriend ta’ notice the cameras had been disabled.” Gin said, Ichigo squinting at him suspiciously even as he continued to gulp in air like a landed fish. “But I fear tha’ if I kiss ya right now, ya’ll suffocate and die.”

Ichigo glared at him weakly, but didn’t have any way of denying him, seeing as he still couldn’t get enough air to his lungs.

Gin snickered, and despite his words, he drew closer, planting a soft cheek on his over-heating forehead. Then on his left cheek, and then let his head fall down to his feverish neck and clamped his teeth down hard and began sucking.

Ichigo protested weakly, shoving a gloved hand against his hair, but then just relaxed into it, letting his head lol into the crook of Gin’s neck.

The elevator’s doors opened, just as Ichigo’s tired and over-sensitive body buckled under Gin’s ministrations, bracing himself against the elevators handrails.

“_Ichimaru Gin_.” A rather icy voice greeted them, the sneer palpable in the air behind them. Gin mumbled a quiet curse, before he righted himself and faced his current boss.

“Aizen-chan! What a pleasant surprise!” Gin exclaimed, voice and expression at odds with Aizen’s thunderous face. Gin’s eyes opened a fraction, even as he placed a hand on Ichigo’s lower back to steady him. “Sorry about this, I was just escorting my boyfriend outside before he was found. I guess I was a little distracted, but no harm done, how about-”

“There has been a _breach in security!” _Aizen shrieked, probably too surprised, too enraged to properly use his honey-poison voice, to keep up his charade. “And you’ve-you’ve been _kissing your boyfriend!?”_

Gin grinned, completely unrepentant. “Oops?”

“YOU ARE _FIRED_! GET _OUT_ OF MY SIGHT!”

“Aye, Boss-man!” Gin exclaimed with perhaps too much cheer, as he led his dizzy, and worried boyfriend away. One hand still supporting his lower back, the other one holding him by the arm and guiding him along. He kept up a calm pace, neither too frantic nor too leisure, keeping his charade until the very end. The outside air was chilly, and the instant Ichigo shivered, Gin took off his uniform blazer to wrap it around his shoulders.

With that said they made their way to the parking lot, where a black, nondescript car with another city’s license plates was waiting for them.

Ichigo climbed in first, letting his tired self collapse against the awaiting Rangiku, his legs _and _chest burning with exertion. Gin slid in after him with more composure, greeting Rukia at the wheel as he closed the door.

“Everyone ready?” Rukia leaned back to ask, popping a pink bubblegum after her words. She looked at all three passengers, sniggering at Ichigo’s impression of a ragdoll and turned back to the front.

She exited the parking lot with so much care, that Ichigo momentarily forgot who she was.

Then he heard her switch gears, felt Gin’s iron grip holding him down and then Kuchiki “reckless driver” Rukia slammed on the gas and they were off.

Hopefully not to their deaths, Ichigo prayed before his exhausted body gave up on him.

* * *

The flash drive was handed off to Mizuiro, who would then copy the information and share it to the wide world, where people like Urahara Kisuke, and Akon would be able to appropriately replicate the designs in no time.

The leak would be anonymous of course, untraceable and not-quite-illegal. Mizuiro’s areas of expertise.

Ichigo spent the entire day sleeping off the adrenaline and the sheer exertion, while Gin and Rangiku both pretended they hadn’t been away the entire night, and were up and about making sure their library bakery & café would be open for business as per usual.

Rangiku had to bake pastries from her frozen emergency stock, and maybe Gin was a little grouchier as he manned the cash register _and _took over the coffee shop portion of the store, but they were content and relaxed in the knowledge that they had succeeded.

* * *

After closing time came, the sun finally setting, both of the working duo went upstairs to their adjourned apartment, with a mug of tea and a slice of cheesecake for their grumpy Strawberry.

The older couple slid onto the bed, on either sides of Ichigo, snuggling close to him as he all but inhaled his treat. Rangiku took the plate away from him, as Gin handed him his tea, and accepting the empty mug back afterwards.

Rangiku snuggled into his chest, letting her strawberry blonde hair tickle his neck, as she trailed a feather-soft hand over his chest. Ichigo sighed against her, before Gin returned to the bed, pushing him forward, so both of them would be leaning against Gin.

Gin sighed, dramatic as ever, as he ran a hand through Ichigo’s dyed hair. “This color is insulting; couldn’t you have picked a less drab tone?”

“It was for blending in, not for turning you on.” Ichigo replied in a deadpan, even as he closed his eyes while Gin massaged his scalp. “You can help me get the dye off, if you’d like.”

“Oh, I would indeed.” Gin purred, giving his hair a last tug before he snuggled closer to them, his right hand going around Rangiku, and his left trailing a teasing path up Ichigo’s thigh.

Ichigo sighed breathily. “You really don’t waste your time, huh?”

“Ya’ fell asleep before we could celebrate las’ night.” Gin smirked against the shell of his ear, nibbling the appendage briefly. “Sometimes I forget yer just a big ol’ baby.”

“I’m only _five _years younger than both of you, shut up.” Ichigo grumbled, pout disappearing entirely as Rangiku began kissing his neck, a smile against her lips. He craned his neck back both to give her better access and to try and glare at his smirking boyfriend. “You try to run down fifteen flights of stairs and we’ll see how you do.”

“Why should I if I have ya’ ta do the dirty work for me?” Gin smirked, his hand sliding further up, making Ichigo hitch a breath. “Then I can jus’ worship the beautiful body these workouts give you.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Ichigo mumbled, before he was distracted by Rangiku finally claiming his lips, leaning so heavily against him that he could feel the weight of her breasts on his chest.

“Just a warning,” Ichigo mumbled, once his mouth was again free –lips already tingling and bruised. “I honestly don’t feel my legs.”

“You won’t need them for this kind of marathon.” Gin assured him, with a pointed squeeze, that had Ichigo moaning.

“And besides, I could always suck you off, then you could watch us having fun.” Rangiku teased him, as she helped Ichigo out of his shirt.

“Let’s see who tires out first.” Ichigo said, a smirk in place as Rangiku lunged at him.

“We have all night, Ichi-kun, let’s find out.”

**Author's Note:**

> btw the original name for this fic was: Of Dicks and Heists lmfao  
but I tried coming up with something a little bit classier.
> 
> Hope you liked and don't forget to drop a comment!


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